My Story
I started my custom software development company after years of working for other people. I was excited to take a leap and try my hand at business development. It was thrilling! In five years, I grew my business into a $1.7M 10-person machine. But then, when new business slowed and profit fell away, I hit a major wall.
At that point, running the company went from challenging but fun to causing me the most stress and self-doubt I had ever felt. It made me think I had just lucked into any success I had, didn't know what I was doing, and was actually getting everything wrong. Across the board, I felt I was one misstep away from my clients leaving, my employees quitting, and any hope I had for the future simply disappearing.
I felt the pressure to grow the business but didn't know how or even where I would want to take it. I had made good money but not life-changing payouts. I acted like a fearless leader for my employees, but I was on edge all the time. I had a few loyal clients, but I had no real idea how to find new ones.
I also wanted to be a good boss and fair to everyone, and that meant giving regular raises to employees. At the same time, I felt pressure from clients to keep costs down. The difference came out of my pocket while I was working more and more, but I kept telling myself it would all pay off in the end somehow. If I didn't complain and silently suffered alone, at least I would still have my pride.
Because it was my company, I implicitly believed the business's challenges were because of my personal shortcomings. (Funny enough, I never allowed that to work in reverse: I ascribed any positive in the business to others or to luck.) So there went my pride. I thought people could see through me and could tell I was an imposter. I dared not let anyone know how I was really feeling.
I couldn't sleep. I felt awful all the time. My wife was stuck witnessing me break down in tears three or four times a week over the stress and the thought of letting everyone down, which I could see no way out of. I couldn't muster any enthusiasm for working on the business because I felt if I touched any part of it, the whole thing would implode, and anyway, anything positive was beyond my ability. I no longer believed in myself.
I couldn't see any way forward. I was ready just to burn it all down, walk away, and get a job as somebody else's employee. I was convinced that would mean admitting my failure to the whole world. My family, who had once been proud of me, would then see how useless I was. I assumed I would lose everything. And I thought no one could help me because the problem was deep inside me. I needed to figure this out myself, I believed, but I didn’t know where to start. The future looked bleak.
Whew.
I needed to change something, anything.
So, I finally did what I had been afraid to do: I reached out.
Another entrepreneur had told me about a business coach he saw when he struggled. It sounded promising, but I was skeptical. Knowing I had to do something, I resolved to see that coach, and for the first time in years, my perspective started to shift.
In these coaching sessions, we talked about my business's particular stresses, goals for my company and myself, resources for improvement, and my relationship to the business. It felt so freeing to have someone I could talk to who was impartial to outcomes and yet on my side.
I found new tools for managing my mindset, new ways to identify and set priorities, and new ideas about what an entrepreneur really is. I could now identify what needed to change. I began to see the business as something outside of myself, something I really had a say over. As I continued, I recognized that I had choices to make for myself about where the company could go and, separately, where my own life could go.
I rearranged my most stressful client projects to give myself a reasonable load and balanced the number of people on my payroll for the work we wanted to continue. This meant hard choices and hurt feelings, but I knew I needed it, and I knew why.
Once I got my mind focused, things went uphill quickly. The company books went from loss to profit, the business was closer with our existing clients, and my outlook got a lot sunnier. And, as the enterprise continued to run, I made time to learn new musical instruments, volunteer in my community, and travel more with my wife. Getting help let me live my life again!
Soon, I reexamined my personal values and found they had changed since I started the company! Now, connection with other people was much more important. I needed to work with others who were feeling the way I had been. I became an entrepreneur coach because I knew I could help others find their own unique version of success. It was time for this new direction.
Does my "before" situation sound familiar? Want to find your own version of my "after?" The first step is reaching out. Whether you know exactly where you want to go or just know you need a change, a discovery session together is how you get started. We'll dive into what's happening in your company and your life, what’s important to your future, and how we can work together to enable you to bring your vision to life. It’s the start of your unique happiness.